Επιμέλεια: Εύα Πετροπούλου Λιανού
Much has been written about this topic, even I myself have addressed this topic several times, but then, new insights keep coming, and an urge too to share what I think.
We often consider happiness a personal affair. No, it is a social construct. And this thought often makes a mess of a simple affair.
We are interconnected with people, not only our family, but hundreds of other people also. If our relations with them are not good, how can we expect happiness?
In the family, we start by taking the things for granted. My wife is my wife. How can she contradict me? My son is my son, rather my own son. He must abide by my wishes. So, is your daughter your own daughter. How can she defy what you want?
And, what we want, is never done, neither by the dear or [non-dear] wife, nor by the dutiful [or otherwise] son, and much less by the [self-effacing] daughter. They are all ours, yet ‘others’ and exist ‘outside’ us. Ours are only the limbs of our body, which are under our control.
Do you think you have any control on your mind? No. It is, therefore, not yours. Your heart too dwells in someone else. Only your physical body, which is certified by a gazette officer is your own.
In a society which is interconnected, our happiness is not a personal affair, it is a social construct. It depends on how you conduct yourself in your interaction with others.
If you are crafty, deceitful, masters of concoction, and have no qualms about right and wrong, happiness is a far cry.
If you think you can work hard and earn enough money, it will give you happiness when you will find your bank balance surging, you are mistaken.
With wife, you have to maintain a relation which is based on understanding, and mutual respect. Otherwise, forget about happiness. Your son and your daughter too are independent identities. You cannot force your views on them. You can however express your views, but cannot issue commandments.
With friends too, we should be accommodative. Hard stances often lead to breakages. If you are principled, and someone is saying something which violates the principle, now, it is for you whether you want to pick up a fight, or tell the person politely what you think of it.
Forcing others to think like you, is poison to good relationships.
Telling lies, and trying to play the gallery always, thinking that we are very very important, and always right – all these habits taken away your happiness.
Let us accept the fact that happiness lies in your sensitive attitude towards others, humane conduct, and giving respect to the problems and ideas of others, whether you agree with them or not.
Last but not the least, happiness is the basic desire of every person. He does a thousand things to have happiness. He thinks the possession of certain comforts and precious items will bring him joy. But, finally, he ends up gathering thorns and thistles, and not flowers.
Reason: Action is in your hands, but its fall out is in the hands of cosmic forces.
Last thing to remember is: Happiness is not a personal affair. It comes to you only when you give away. Helping others in their needs is the greatest producer of joy. We should think of others, work for others, and help them in need. If you have money, the best use of money in which you can create happiness, is to share a portion of it with the less blessed. A sure recipe for happiness.
Author: Dr. Jernail Singh Anand is President, International Academy of Ethics. He has authored 175 plus books of English literature and philosophy. He won Seneca, Charter of Morava, Franz Kafka and Maxim Gorky and Arr4Life awards. His name adorns the Poets’ Rock in Serbia. He is also an Honorary member of the Serbian Writers Association. His most intriguing work is Lustus: The Prince of Darkness. [Ethicsacademy.co.in] [[email protected]].
